the only thing she wants to know is how and why and when and where to go

the cycle is approaching its closing moments. in a few short days I'll have reached one year of not drinking and likewise this little site will be one year old. it's a bit intimidating to think about the changes I've been through in that amount of time. Maybe it's this impending milestone, maybe it's my upcoming trip to NYC, and maybe it's just the place I'm in right now, but I've been struck with that love of humanity and life and those feelings that, as crazy as it all is, it makes sense somewhere, somehow. Even the bad stuff.

so, this wasn't the preamble I expected to write, and maybe this is now related to nothing, but I've wanted to do one of those "100 things" lists for some time. I like randomness, but am dreadfully bad at listing things off the top of my head. but! after much ado, I present this list. self-absorbed and self-serving? of course. but so is the whole idea of this site, right?

100 things about me as compiled by the meanderings of my brain

1. the first concert I ever saw was metallica in '92. I was 15 and still can't figure out how my mother let me go.
2. I am a compulsive beverage drinker, which means martinis are extra dangerous.
3. I grew up catholic, but didn't take ownership over my faith until I left for college.
4. I consider myself a christian, but no longer catholic.
   
5. none of my cousins or siblings have kids. no little ones anywhere!
6. I had one sister growing up, but my parents both recently got re-married. Now I have two additional stepbrothers and two stepsisters and two stepbrothers-in-law (do they count?). Zero to big family in six months.
7. I spent most of my elementary school years in Saudi Arabia. I lived four blocks from the Persian Gulf, only we called it the Arabian Gulf. I suppose it's all relative.
8. I like pens that write well and signing my name really tall.
9. I am the smallest person you'd ever meet who was an offensive lineman on his high school football team. And I was a starter, too.
10. I have never been any good at sports that require skill, finesse, or depth perception.
11. I had no depth perception as a child because I had a lazy eye.
12. I got stitches in my head six times as a child and was so bruised up on a regular basis that my doctor thought I was abused.
13. I drive to work from Dearborn (25 miles) and it makes me sad. I want to move to Ypsilanti and get on my bike.
14. If I could ride my bike to work, I'd sell my Focus and buy a '64 Mercury Comet Caliente convertible. or a vespa.
15. my favorite season is Spring. it used to be fall, but I now love the energy I get in springtime. e.e. cummings helped that.
16. I love Christmas, but winter gets me down starting around the end of January through mid-March.
17. I love giving gifts, but hate getting things for people that I wouldn't like as well. This is especially true for music.
18. I have bought Miles Davis' Kind of Blue for at least five people as a gift. It's universal; everyone likes it and should own it.
19. I often work out entire conversations with people in my head, including their responses, etc. In real life, they never work out the same.
20. until six months ago, I had never asked anyone out. I even got asked to my junior prom.
21. I have a genetic inability to realize when someone is flirting with me.
22. I am extremely focused on the task at hand, but am easily distracted to something new, which I promptly focus intently upon.
23. someone told me that libras are liars, but I've decided that libras are lovers. it now says so on my cell phone.
24. I don't fear death. Mine or others.
25. I love foreign languages but speak none of them well.
26. I like using new vocabulary, but often use it wrong.
27. when I was a kid I liked to read a lot, so would learn new words by reading but pronounce them completely wrong whne using them in conversation. this provided unending humor for my parents.
28. growing up as a catholic in Saudi Arabia, I got to experience a bit of repression, which most christians in the U.S. don't get. christians in the U.S. are coddled too much.
29. my lowest resting heart rate was 38 beats per minute. I was riding my bike like crazy then.
30. my resting heart rate is 51 right now.
31. I love sugar. I can eat it with a spoon. sugar in the raw is especially good.
32. I am hypoglycemic (low blood sugar), which means too much sugar throws me all out of whack.
33. when my blood sugar gets really low I lack the ability to make the decision to eat something to make myself feel better.
34. I adore new things all the time and experimenting with everything. life is too short to do something the same way twice.
35. One of my favorite things is to meet new people and discover what's exciting about them.
36. I never make a recipe the same way twice. Recipes are just loose guides, anyways. Sometimes I'll make a single dish two ways at the same time, just to compare how they turn out.
37. I love wine tasting, scotch tasting, any type of tasting.
38. in my job I do a lot of experiments, which I like, but I'm actually not a good experimenter because I'm not detail oriented.
39. I'm a 90th percentile sort of guy. that last 10 percent usually isn't worth the effort.
40. I really don't like cilantro. too much of it and my food tastes like burning plastic.
41. The farthest I've ever run was 5 miles. I won a pumpkin pie for doing it.
42. I've always wanted to do handclaps on somebody's record.
43. I am completely inconsistent with capitalization when I'm typing.
44. I could eat japanese food for the rest of my life and be content with that.
45. my main hobby is collecting hobbies. (origami? sure, why not!)
46. I have refinished about one-third of the furniture I own.
47. I only have two kitchen chairs, which is problematic for dinner parties.
48. I own a lot of records and actually enjoy the care you have to give them.
49. I adore karaoke. My greatest hits are REM's "It's the end of the world as we know it," they might be giants' "birdhouse in your soul," and young mc's "bust a move."
50. my family called me john-john as a kid because my dad's name is john.
51. I think naming your child the same name as you is unwise and problematic.
52. I have little attachment to my name and have often thought of changing it, or going by my middle name, william.
53. I carry a pocketwatch more than I wear a wristwatch.
54. I am trying to culivate old man chic as my personal style.
55. when things look bad, I can be painfully optimistic. when things are fine, I can be a bit of a pragmatic killjoy. I get the latter form my dad, damn him.
56. I'm a sucker for sad, moody music, but try not to listen to it too much because it affects me so.
57. I love lightning way more than fireworks.
58. I believe that expressing thoughts and emotions through art, words, and music is one of the most sublime activities people can attempt.
59. I think the most beautiful man-made art still pales compared to a single leaf, or any other natural object.
60. my faith is one of the only completely concrete ideas in my life.
61. I believe that we think we know more about God than we really do.
62. the hardest thing in my life is seeing someone I care about in pain.
63. I love beaches, the ocean, and warm places
64. I'm fiercely independent, often too much so, but in a quiet way.
65. I love to dance, but tend to get a little overexuberant.
66. I have expended considerable effort to de-condition myself to attractiveness of people as defined by society. sometimes I'm successful.
67. I'm immediately resistant any time someone tells me something has to be a certain way.
68. I think that God mostly wants us to love each other.
69. I'm for the underdog, almost always.
70. my memory is selectively terrible, selectively photographic.
71. my favorite song of all time has no words (aphex twin's "flim").
72. I like spelling words fonetikalee and am especially fond of using ckz in place of x.
73. my favorite piece of classical music is Le Sacre du Printemps (Rite of Spring) by Igor Stravinsky
74. the last time I saw the Rite of Spring performed was one of Neeme Jarvi's last concerts with the DSO and it was incredible (for many reasons).
75. my first crush was in kindergarten
76. I have permanent tan lines from cycling shorts
77. I could drink green tea all day, every day
78. I get very excitable in large groups of friends
79. I was first introduced to most wordly vices in the boy scouts
80. I met my best friend in boy scouts
81. I am the king of bad analogies
82. I have the worst eyes of anyone I know.
83. I love sleep
84. I haven't really watched tv for years
85. I have a hard time finding blocks of time long enough to sit and watch a movie
86. I have a hard time remembering what movies I've seen and what books I've read (see: selective memory)
87. I put on music to listen to while I'm picking out music to listen to
88. I only lie to my parents. It's for their own safety
89. I wasn't that bad of a kid growing up, but my sister was a saint and made me look like the bad seed.
90. I always wanted to dress kind of 50s and tough, but never thought I could pull it off (probably true)
91. My veins pop out on my forehead when I drink
92. I can walk on my hands for short distances
93. I never saw any of the Godfather movies until last year
94. Sometimes I still feel like I just graduated from college
95. I like living in a house, but hate the maintenance.
96. I think lawns are useless.
97. the only thing I like about fast food is the ghetto ice cream. frosties, cones, shakes, all of it.
98. I quit wrestling my senior year of high school because I sucked and was on the quizz bowl team instead.
99. I was the MVP of our high school quizz bowl team that year (see: selective memory)
100. I think that most people are beautiful, if they are at least attempting to be good people.
101. I am very deliberately trying to redefine and expand my comfort zones.
102. I am beginning to believe in alternative, non-biological families, and that they are at least as important as the biological ones.
103. I think that the world would be a happier place if people could travel more.
104. I don't like restrictions, especially arbitrary numbers of things.