up in outer space where there's no oxygen and nothing makes a sound

what is it that knocks the substance out of one's self-worth, leaving an illusion of person behind? Walking, sorta talking, purportedly breathing, but not a person.

I was that non-person yesterday. It's scary and despairing and illogical, but it happens. Nothing so dramatic as a breakdown; instead, a paralyzing sort of nothingness that invades. Self-nihilism.

Today is much better. A decently long bike ride facing death-by-SUV on Ford Road helped bring me back. When I got back, Katie had made dinner and planted the little stub of pine tree that I had neglected to a slow death by dehydration. Last night I had some good sleep and interesting dreams about camping in the backyard of my office and doing sound engineering for people I knew in high school, but whose names I couldn't recall. Where are all the cables? are these mics wireless?

I'm still on the coffee today, but it's calming instead of edgy. Positive feelings and ambition. And today is our friend Becky's birthday! I forgot to shout her out last weekend, but she's one of the best moms I know. Happy Birthday to Becky. She once sang "She's Like Wind" to me at karaoke, just because I didn't know the song.



seaweed - fruit bats