that's how I escaped my certain fate

back in the twilight of my high school career I had an epiphany: I did not, in fact, like wrestling. the long hours of practice in that dank basement room, the gut-gnawing fear before a match, the semi-starvation diet before weigh-ins....what's not to love? so, mere days before the start of the wrestling season I decided to join the quiz bowl team instead. oh yeah....bruiser to loser in one short breath. actually, I was finally beginning to embrace my inner geek and was also learning that I was a bit of an extrovert (read: exhibitionist) once I stopped caring what everyone else thought. so! it was quiz bowl for me.

having confidently resolved my decision, I went to tell the wrestling coach. I actually felt a little bad because he was a really great guy, so with a slightly heavy heart I told him my news. since this was my senior year and would have been my fourth year wrestling, I anticipated the hole that my absence would leave in the team. granted, I didn't win many matches the previous year, but I was bound to improve, right?

"coach, I've decided not to be on the wrestling team this year."

"really? okay, I understand."

he gave me a warm smile and a handshake and wished me well. with no attempts to convince me otherwise, I instantly learned how poor a wrestler I was and what a fantastic decision I had made to quit. our quiz bowl team coalesced that year with a bunch of reasonably sharp seniors who didn't care, so we just made the whole event a ridiculous display. we had theme dress ups for matches (70s polyester was a favorite, it being readily available at a thrift store near you). we had chants and stretching we would do before matches to intimidate the other team. we made locker signs, a la the sports teams, with unbelievable messages that somehow made it past the watchful, disapproving eye of the principal's office ("Co-ed Naked Quiz Bowl! The bonus round is when all four go at it at once!"). suprisingly, we did well that year and I was voted MVP. ha. I had found my niche.

in a curious reprise of those halcyon days, I am going to trivia night tonight at bookie's bar in downtown detroit. it's a four-person team event and the winning team gets all their drinks paid for. I learned about it from my friend jeff, and he has a team that shows up on occasion. I am filling in tonight; the clutch hitter. will I rise up, or will my aged, alcohol-weary brain fold under the pressure?

I didn't attend my ten-year high school reunion, for a variety of reasons. this will have to suffice. (full disclosure: jeff and I went to high school together, though I don't think he was ever on the quiz bowl team.)

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UPDATE: bah. my team (the hookers--named after the band, not the profession) came in second place, though we were tied for the lead before the last round. it was a good team effort and I managed to pull my weight by remembering guessing that the river that flows through rome is the tiber. plus I think we got screwed on one of them:

"what animal kills the most people in africa each year?"

the answer should be humans, no? waaay more than crocodiles (their answer).