I wear black on the outside...

I have an inability to walk with a coffee cup and not spill it all over myself. So it's a good thing I never had to rely on waiting tables to support myself. And it doesn't matter how full the cup--I will find a way to land some of it on my shirt or pants (or at the very least, the floor). Then again, I've never been known for my grace of movement, and I've always been accident prone. You should see the road map of scars on my head from various head injuries as a child.

Which is all to say, I'm asking for brown pants and shirts for Christmas. Recognizing the problem is the first step, acceptance is next.