in which our hero is alarmed
Sunday was a banner day: I finished my final project for my final class....ever. The veil of stress lifted, I celebrated by starting a new project: Sea Shanties with the Captain. Me at home having a nice spiced rum toddy and playing some songs to singalong with, recorded with clever "rubber band holding the mic to the camera tripod" action.
All in good fun and yet midnight rolled around and I wasn't tired. Take a melatonin, Brian said. So I did. I got sleepy, but I didn't sleep. 4am came. I had gone from the bed to the couch and back again...still no sleep. My mind was riffing on meaningless themes and refused to shut up. At some point I must have slept because I remembered a dream, but then I woke up before my alarm.
here's the thing: I do not do well on low sleep. And I'm not used to it: insomnia is not in my lexicon. I'm usually as regular as a swiss watch. You could time a race by my circadian rhythms. Today I was so out of sorts I had a meeting with GM and forgot, in no particular order: (1) my wallet (2) business cards (3) an umbrella (4) lunch.
so tonight I'm thinking, I'm gonna zonk. Hit it HARD on the pillow 'round 9pm. I even skipped going to a concert in detroit for fear of falling asleep on the drive home. And yet, here it is almost midnight and I, mr. swiss watch, am not one winky-dinky bit tired.
and for why wouldn't I sleep? I'd almost no caffeine. I exercised today. I did all the Right Things. I watched a movie lying down on the couch covered in a blanket. I drank sleepy herbal tea with valerian root. I'm now listening to the soothing sounds of Windy & Carl: spinning, ambient drone in a weak prayer for the solemnity of sleep.
I'm sorry if I sound a little desperate here. As I said, I don't function well. Alarmism starts crowding in at the edges. I read the news and feel impending doom. It's all in my head, yes yes, I know, but it's not pretty. The fear lurks in the back: I will begin to measure all time from the completion of my final school class project. BC and AD. When I could sleep and when I stopped.
Oh, there's one more variable, probably the most important of all: K's been in Copenhagen for the UN climate change conference. I am here, a man set adrift in his own muddlings. I'm starting to fray. She gets back on Wednesday night and I predict a long, deep sleep that night, perhaps lasting until Friday. Until then, I can only try to tune out the busyness of my own brain, eat some cookies, and pray for a sugar-induced coma.
----
update (12:51am): apparently, I was meant to read this again. It worked before; please let it work again tonight.
All in good fun and yet midnight rolled around and I wasn't tired. Take a melatonin, Brian said. So I did. I got sleepy, but I didn't sleep. 4am came. I had gone from the bed to the couch and back again...still no sleep. My mind was riffing on meaningless themes and refused to shut up. At some point I must have slept because I remembered a dream, but then I woke up before my alarm.
here's the thing: I do not do well on low sleep. And I'm not used to it: insomnia is not in my lexicon. I'm usually as regular as a swiss watch. You could time a race by my circadian rhythms. Today I was so out of sorts I had a meeting with GM and forgot, in no particular order: (1) my wallet (2) business cards (3) an umbrella (4) lunch.
so tonight I'm thinking, I'm gonna zonk. Hit it HARD on the pillow 'round 9pm. I even skipped going to a concert in detroit for fear of falling asleep on the drive home. And yet, here it is almost midnight and I, mr. swiss watch, am not one winky-dinky bit tired.
and for why wouldn't I sleep? I'd almost no caffeine. I exercised today. I did all the Right Things. I watched a movie lying down on the couch covered in a blanket. I drank sleepy herbal tea with valerian root. I'm now listening to the soothing sounds of Windy & Carl: spinning, ambient drone in a weak prayer for the solemnity of sleep.
I'm sorry if I sound a little desperate here. As I said, I don't function well. Alarmism starts crowding in at the edges. I read the news and feel impending doom. It's all in my head, yes yes, I know, but it's not pretty. The fear lurks in the back: I will begin to measure all time from the completion of my final school class project. BC and AD. When I could sleep and when I stopped.
Oh, there's one more variable, probably the most important of all: K's been in Copenhagen for the UN climate change conference. I am here, a man set adrift in his own muddlings. I'm starting to fray. She gets back on Wednesday night and I predict a long, deep sleep that night, perhaps lasting until Friday. Until then, I can only try to tune out the busyness of my own brain, eat some cookies, and pray for a sugar-induced coma.
----
update (12:51am): apparently, I was meant to read this again. It worked before; please let it work again tonight.
random bits cobbled together by j-dub
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home