do you feel like darth vader?

what do you do when it's 5am and you've been lying in bed for an hour, eyes closed but not sleeping. heart beating quickly, time crawls by in blurry digital numerals. fourteen simultaneous thoughts running in and out and through your brain and there's an awful song stuck in your head, just adding to the frustration. you think of family, of work, of selling your house. of regrets from the past, of anxieties in the future. you try to concentrate on your breathing to relax but can't seem to concentrate. what do you do when you feel like lying in bed will drive you mad?

you get up. you get dressed. you go to work in the dark. you watch the thunderstorms roll in; lightning where there should be sunrise. you listen to music. you write emails to loved ones.

i'm so tired
i haven't slept a wink
i'm so tired
my mind is on the blink
i wonder should i get up
and fix myself a drink?

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I started to write a playlist for jetlag, but then it quickly become overly melodramatic (think "black angel death song" by VU) and then really bizarre (think "the noise of carpet" by stereolab). so instead, I'll just stick with the genius lyrics of mr. lennon.