no dark sarcasm in the classroom

for a bit of humor and lightness this morning, I present to you an actual excuse letter received by my cousin from one of her students. Note: she teaches at the college level. [emphasis in letter added by me] I would add more commentary, but it pretty much speaks for itself.

Dear Mrs. XXXX,

I unfortunately missed your class I believe for the 4th time Friday and am very sorry that it has happen. I had missed 3 other classes that week due to little bit of a cold witch has been going around and that week I had started working out for the first time in 4 months and made me incredible soar. I had been staying up almost every night that week tossing and Turing due to the cold and being soar. Thursday night I remember waking up every hour because I had rolled over on my side and had woken up due to the pain of being soar. That night I clearly remember setting my alarm for 7 o’clock and in the morning my alarm never went off and I woke up at 10:45 due to someone knocking on our door and my alarm was off. I think I might have turned if off and not remember. I have been known to sleepwalk some times according to my parents; they once found me trying to take a shower at 4 in the morning. I was planning on attending your class on Friday I really didn’t not want to miss it because I knew I could not I did everything in my power to make it. Went to bed early, took a shower the night before so I did not have to in the morning and made sure I had the homework done. But I was not feeling very good all week. When I awoke on Friday morning and noticing it was 10:45 I got up threw shoes on grabbed my homework and ran over the building and looked for you hopping I could see if there was anyway you would not count the absent against me. I really cannot afford to fail your class. I am hopping you will let me go on one absents and pass your class. If for some reason which it won’t happen but if for some reason I miss your class again or am tartie then I will fail, I guarantee it will not happen again. But hopefully you will let me go this one time. I would much rather talk to you in person, so I would like to come to class early on Thursday and talk to you more on this subject if it is ok. I am very sorry that I missed your class.