somewhere in here is that which you are looking for

I just finished reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. It was brilliant. It is also the first book I've read completely through in a number of years. That fact had troubled me for a while now, that I couldn't seem to finish reading a book. I would usually get one-third or halfway through and my reading frequency would drop off until many weeks had passed without picking up the book, at which point it was lost to me. I think this was partly due to my waning interest in the books themselves and partly due to my not finding time to read them. But The Fountainhead had a pull on me, from the first few pages. Expertly written with precise calculation; beautiful use of language; characters like diamonds with sharply cut facets.

Often I feel pulled in a million directions at the same time, and trying to set my priorities becomes more like sticking twigs in the leaks of a dam. Or like a game of Whack-a-Mole. But lately I've tried to be more deliberate with my time, divvying it out in a more calculated manner, trying to highlight things that are truly important to me. Driving two hundred miles to see my grandmother is important. Sweeping the floor can wait. That's a gross simplification, but a coarse example of what I've been trying to do. And maybe finishing this particular book is nothing, but I think it's a good sign of gathering up the loose ends into a more cohesive whole. I've never been a particularly focused individual, I usually toss about with the whims of my everyday life. But even a sphere can be sharpened somewhat, if only into a slightly ovalized object. But at least an oval points somewhere.