when the devil came, he was not red
yesterday evening I was at a work party, which consisted of dozens of engineers and managers (mostly japanese, some american, some belgian) milling about tables splayed out with sushi and beer, chatting it up and getting tipsy. Giant beer bottles served into tiny juice glasses. The japanese way is to serve each other--you never pour for yourself. And it's an honorable thing to accept beer from another, even if your glass is already full: you take a healthy sip and accept a top-off. Which is all to say, if you're not careful you can get very drunk. I'm more careful now than I was in the past.
Tonight I found myself talking to a higher-up guy, who in semi-casual terms asked me if I would want to move to japan and manage the global simulation group. In other words, he joked about it and then told me that he would ask me seriously in the near future. Two years ago I would have jumped at the chance: live abroad, good exposure and experience, all that. But it'd also mean long-ass hours, unknown responsibility and expectations from a company that (like most/all japanese companies) expects that you hold company interests above personal interests. It's the proverbial offer from satan, but also an ego stroke.
Will he sell his soul? Will he acquiesce to the glamour and esteem of the higher position? Oh, maybe when I was single and naive and willing. Instead, I have my sights set on different shores. As my dear friend Heather would quote Thoreau, it's time to live my life deliberately. The christian in me would reject the polished chrome allure of corporate success for the humble soul-saving work of societal improvement. At least, that's my hope for the future. I can't say for sure that my work will ever help people long-term, but I can damn well try. The question is: how do I let him down without jeopardizing my near-term work? Or do I begin burning bridges now, a pyromaniacal slide into my return to grad school?
For better and worse, I've always been a people pleaser at heart. I suppose I'll think of some political way to let him down easy.
Tonight I found myself talking to a higher-up guy, who in semi-casual terms asked me if I would want to move to japan and manage the global simulation group. In other words, he joked about it and then told me that he would ask me seriously in the near future. Two years ago I would have jumped at the chance: live abroad, good exposure and experience, all that. But it'd also mean long-ass hours, unknown responsibility and expectations from a company that (like most/all japanese companies) expects that you hold company interests above personal interests. It's the proverbial offer from satan, but also an ego stroke.
Will he sell his soul? Will he acquiesce to the glamour and esteem of the higher position? Oh, maybe when I was single and naive and willing. Instead, I have my sights set on different shores. As my dear friend Heather would quote Thoreau, it's time to live my life deliberately. The christian in me would reject the polished chrome allure of corporate success for the humble soul-saving work of societal improvement. At least, that's my hope for the future. I can't say for sure that my work will ever help people long-term, but I can damn well try. The question is: how do I let him down without jeopardizing my near-term work? Or do I begin burning bridges now, a pyromaniacal slide into my return to grad school?
For better and worse, I've always been a people pleaser at heart. I suppose I'll think of some political way to let him down easy.
random bits cobbled together by j-dub
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