my baby takes the morning train / he works from nine to five and then...
so i got a little e-mail from my bff, b-dub in brooklyn, which has resulted in this post. it's basically a guest post by him, only I modified a few things to protect the guilty. I won't divulge where he works but suffice it to say it's a Really Big Building in the financial district in manhattan. It could be any building, at any time.
Corporate Coaching: A How-To Guide / Act 1, Scene 1
setting: you're going to take a lunch walk with the head admin and have a little chat. you're not exactly sure how what you're going to say is going to come out, but it will. it's a sort of choose your own adventure. both of you will feign interest about each other's personal lives, she'll ask you how everything is going, you're going to tell her where to shove your damn job.
shit, you rehearsed this and everything.
ok: start the walk. you'll feign interest in her new lifestyle (she just went on a two-week lifestyle change something or other at duke university) and she'll feign interest in your ... uh... oh, wait: she doesn't know anything about you and has never cared to ask a simple question about what you do when you leave this place at 5pm, so she can go fuck herself!
damnit, you were working on this in your head on the train this morning.
ok, feign interest in each other and you'll figure it out as you go along. she'll ask you how work is, you'll say it's great, you'll inquire about the process of finding someone to help out your workload, she'll ask why, you'll tell her things are a bit hectic and make a couple suggestions as to how the problem may be solved, she'll say 'wow i had no idea you're on temp number 6 and you've been doing three jobs sometimes,' and you'll say 'yeah' à la ellen degeneres in her stand-up about trudy and "the storm's a brewin", and she'll say something else that probably won't be what you want her to say, but you'll feign like it is because it may amount in a higher bonus and raise at the end of the year or a cash money bonus incentive within the next couple weeks or both. cross your fingers!
Corporate Coaching: A How-To Guide / Act 1, Scene 1
setting: you're going to take a lunch walk with the head admin and have a little chat. you're not exactly sure how what you're going to say is going to come out, but it will. it's a sort of choose your own adventure. both of you will feign interest about each other's personal lives, she'll ask you how everything is going, you're going to tell her where to shove your damn job.
shit, you rehearsed this and everything.
ok: start the walk. you'll feign interest in her new lifestyle (she just went on a two-week lifestyle change something or other at duke university) and she'll feign interest in your ... uh... oh, wait: she doesn't know anything about you and has never cared to ask a simple question about what you do when you leave this place at 5pm, so she can go fuck herself!
damnit, you were working on this in your head on the train this morning.
ok, feign interest in each other and you'll figure it out as you go along. she'll ask you how work is, you'll say it's great, you'll inquire about the process of finding someone to help out your workload, she'll ask why, you'll tell her things are a bit hectic and make a couple suggestions as to how the problem may be solved, she'll say 'wow i had no idea you're on temp number 6 and you've been doing three jobs sometimes,' and you'll say 'yeah' à la ellen degeneres in her stand-up about trudy and "the storm's a brewin", and she'll say something else that probably won't be what you want her to say, but you'll feign like it is because it may amount in a higher bonus and raise at the end of the year or a cash money bonus incentive within the next couple weeks or both. cross your fingers!
random bits cobbled together by j-dub
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